you often hear the phrase, 'don't go back, it'll never be as good as you remember it', when looking at returning to somewhere you visited as a child. Summer holidays, which at the time, were the best thing ever, going to Cornwall and playing in the rock pools, and yet you go back and look at the hotel, which has seen better days, and the local ice cream stall, which seems tawdry, and the rock pools which were the coolest thing ever, are now only dirty puddles, with none of the crabs or starfish you remember.
When I was young, I had a few summer holidays, and certainly after I was 8 years old the family went away regularly. Until that age, I was regularly transported across the Atlantic to New York, where my grandparents had settled. My grandad was part of a big shipping company based in Manhattan,and when they moved across from the UK (having previously worked in Italy for a few years), they had the opportunity to move into a nice house in a quiet neighbourhood about an hour outside of Manhattan called Plandome. It was a leafy suburb, which afforded them the chance of living on the outskirts of one of the busiest metropolises in the world, and yet still be able to go home to peace and tranqulity.
Traditionally I would visit for summer holidays and Christmas and maybe easter too. Some of my earliest memories involved 59 Parkwood, and even though they moved back to the UK when I was seven to retire and so they could help my parents when my sister was born, I still hold onto those memories dearly, and so it was with great trepidation that I returned to Long Island to look upon my old haunts, fearing that these important memories I had, important to the extent they are probably the reason I am travelling around the USA, may never live up to the modern day reality.
Old phrases aren't always true though, and as my GPS system pinged its way around streets I had no hope of remembering, guiding me like an invisible hand to the heart of the memories, I was overjoyed to find a village and community exactly the way I remembered it. The streets were quiet and wide, nary a car passing by. The front lawns were wide and welcoming, lush and green. A neighbour was out mowing his lawn and he gave me a cheery wave and smile as I passed. It was the community were bringing up children in a harsh and nasty world (at times), is so much easier. Children playing on the front porch, and with the neighbours across the street. Lazy summer evenings just messing around. Mums on school runs, taking their children to soccer practice or music lessons. It was middle class heaven. I realised how fortunate I was to have been brought up by parents and grandparents who lived in such a world and how when I came to the USA, didn't seem to have a care in the world (admittedly, I can't think of many 5 year olds who do have a care in the world, but that kinda defeats the object of this, so run with me!)
I pulled into the street that my grandparents lived in and had trouble remembering the house. It is true that things you remember when you are a kid are much larger and impressive then when you grow up and see them. I found the house and soaked in the memories, which were flowing quite strongly.I remeber pulling up to the house in my grandad's big lincoln, sat on the little arm rest in the middle of the back seat. I remember a hornet's nest in the front lawn and ignoring everyone's advice and stirring it up with my big toe (I was 5 at the time, I had no idea what I was doing), and then getting stung and my grandad saving me, taking me into the basement and patiently removing all the stings with tweezers, even though I was screaming at the time, and he had been stung several times as well. Standing in front of the house brought it back.
My grandparents neighbor, Audrey, still lived in the same house, and I knocked on the door. She wasn't in unfortunately, so I wrote a little note, and put it on the porch, hoping she would read it and smile. I wanted to walk the block, as I remember doing at Christmas once, when snow was on the ground and the hill at the end of the road was fun to slide down, but first I thought the least I could do, having travelled this far was knock on the door and see if anyone was in at my old haunt. I pressed the buzzer and after a few seconds an elderly couple opened the door. I felt slightly foolish explaining to them who I was and why I was here, but they grinned and said they had bought the house from Tom & Sylvia and remembered them fondly. They laughed when I mentioned about the hornets nest, saying the problem was still there and they had just had the exterminators in to try and get rid of them! Surprisingly, they passed on their condolences, at which point I raised my eyebrows. I explained that both of my grandparents were still very much in the land of the living, and in fact had spoken to them not an hour earlier to check where I was going. They were very pleased to hear this and asked to be remembered, and to pass on thanks as the house had been perfect for them. I had apparently woken them from an afternoon siesta judging by their atire and so made my excuses and left for the walk around the block. I'd be lieing if I said I could remember anything specificallly, I was of course only 5 years old at the time, but the feeling I got was the feeling I remembered. of being safe and secure, of not having a care in the world, of playing with neighbours kids across the way, but most of all of peacefulness and happiness - that warm fuzzy feeling with crickets chirruping, an occasional dog bark, and an SUV returning from the school run (OK, so an SUV is not the most environmentally freiendly option, but it's the modern day equivalent of the big stationwagons you still see on the roads, which were mum's staple transport in years gone by).
And so here I am, sat on the lawn of my grandparents old next door neighbour, tapping away on a keyboard, about memories from over 25 years ago. Whoever "they" are, who say 'don't go back' haven't been where I've been and haven't got the memories I have. If I'd listened to them I could have ended up missing out on one of the best experiences of my trip so far. Never be scared to go back.